The Guilt

The Guilt

My parental guilt went a new direction today.

Parental guilt, for all of you non-parents, is like no other guilt. It is there with you all the time, even if you somehow happen to acheive parental enlightment and become June Cleaver, you will always have parental guilt.

My guilt today came because my body failed me. It FAILED. How did I hurt myself? Sleeping. Well probably intense gardening after a winter of being a slug, and doing something in my sleep, but it hurts. As of now I have no idea what is wrong with my shoulder, but I know that it is not even a little better and I will probably be going to a doctor for the first time since college (other than for baby stuff).  That s how bad it hurts. It is sit on the couch and try not to move, but still be in pain all f*cking day, kind of hurt.

Anyway, this means the plans to wrap up our ocean week were tossed and it became survive the day and hopefully make it to Tae Kwon Do. So....what did we do? I tried to follow a normal day, however the fun planned activities that  we do never happened.

• Pre breakfast (always do this with my kids, they wake up soooo hungry)
• Play time on the floor-matchbox cars while I try not to move too much-my hand went back and forth about a thousand times
• Breakfast-toad in the hole-easy and not too much movement. Moving the damn pan was the worst part
• Play time
• Playdough Urchins with toothpicks-which evolved into space playdough, sea snakes, and mosnsters and a whole hoste of other things
• Clean up
• Playtime on the deck-which has a gate on it, which just rocks by the way
• Lunch
• Playtime on the floor- "No mommy is not mad at you, that face is her hurt face"
• Bath-"Those are not tears....they are....hey look at the rubber duck"
• Gav napping while Ty played ouside and I rocked myself on the deck
• Ty rest time while I showered
• Tae Kwon Do-almost puked while driving my car because of the pain, but at least the kids could not see the tears
• Now-I finally turned on the TV

So blah blah blah people say-you did a GREAT JOB-Well NO I F*UCKING DID NOT. I could have done a lot better but I could not, and it is my fault.

Parental Guilt. We are so lucky.